In the storm-we either fall or we come out from it with defiant desire to overcome anything. 

Who would have thought that as I wrote this I would be in the midst of a world wide pandemic. Certainly would have never put bets on this unprecedented situation and time in our lives. Part of me kinda thinks my first sign of what a shitty year 2020 was going to be started in December when that punk kid from CAL state Dominguez-Hills thought he was smooth and showed up to Regulo’s album drop and used the same words he heard at my presentation to post about his interview with Mr. Caro. What this jackass didn’t know was that everyone there heard him talk and by the time he posted his teaser about his interview those who heard him would turn around and tell me. By 3:00 am my phone had texts and calls. I spent a week on plotting his demise only to remember that I wasn’t going to send anyone to break every bone in his body. But instead I took it to my university’s attorneys, my department chair and the graduate committee. I also contacted my great and bad ass Chicano warrior attorney in Los Ángeles. At my call we would begin whatever legal action I choose to do against this punk. Interestingly, by the end of the toughest academic year I had ever endured allies and comrades had contacted me. Apparently, word was spreading quickly and one of my dear friends and incredible artist had sounded the alarms at CAL state. That punk was being discredited on social media and in his base on campus at Dominguez Hills. That was the beginning of the chaos and negative energy that would be the ending of 2019 and the beginning of a turbulent 2020.

I met with my curandera (traditional healer) before the holidays. She always did a limpia (cleanse) before the year ended. She told me I still had some bad energies wanting to see me down. I sighed. I felt it. It annoyed me more than before. I think it was the culmination of all the things I was feeling and going through. I just wanted it to be done with. Like damn. How much more could they suck from my spirit. Apparently a lot more. So, the holidays came and went. I focused on my projects, my two new book babies. My novel was coming along and my third and final book written in first person was flowing. In February, I spent four amazing days at my favorite place in the whole world. From drinking rum filled dole whips at the Disneyland hotels pool to days inside the parks. Life was great. I was excited for the end of this semester and the beginning of a great opportunity. My submission for the international conference on Chicano Literature and Latino studies had been accepted. I was taking my work to Spain. While there I had worked out several other presentations. I was looking forward to sharing this incredible work and production of the last 8 years at universities in London, Paris and Berlin. It came with a new audience and a whole different environment for me. With these upcoming events I had never felt so happy, excited and finally in my element. Ironically, these plans would never come to fruition and as I write this we are all still doing life in the midst of a covid era. My events were moved to next June 2021. 

In great relief I have burn sage, done limpias and spent the last months isolated in my home. The woman who never thought herself a home body was now finding it hard to think of what a normal life outside her home would be like. In some ways I had always been preparing for this. My OCD about germs and my constant accessory of a hand sanitizer and a pack of wipes now was the trend. While my friends would laugh and take snaps of my designer bags with the famous Angie sanitizer now found themselves carrying the same accessory I had carried around religiously. Guess I got the last laugh. 

In my life I have experienced grief and death through the losses of family and friends. I coped with it through the same ways we all do. I cried for my grandparents. I saw my godmother succumb to a malignant brain tumor and leave me immediately after diagnosis. I mourn and miss her every day. So, this monster covid was here. I think for a minute I forgot that the human shell was so fragile. Thus, knowing people everywhere had been dying from this plague made me forget about death in other ways. Three days after my birthday someone I loved dearly died. His death was not covid. But, a horrific car accident in the State of Sinaloa, MX. Omar, my sweet, talented, beautiful friend. His loss greatly impacted me. I don't know how many tears I have shed since his passing. I have tried to make sense of why his death hurt so much. I don't know. We had such an intimate relationship I suppose that losing him so unexpectedly and in the middle of such a chaotic time in humanity just cut deeply into my heart and soul. He wasn't supposed to leave. We had plans. There was a lot of conversations and ideas we still did not complete. So I was angry. I guess at him. At the universe. At life. I was mad that he left me. As if he had a choice. But, that is how I coped with his loss. I couldn't come to his wake. It was too hard for me. My spirit was not in a good place. How could I go grieve his loss so openly and shamelessly. I thought of the last time he was my guest speaker. Ironically, it was at CAL State Dominguez-Hills. Two nights before in our same meeting space he opened up and told me about his new business partner and his new plans. My sweet Omar was glowing. His spirit was so bright. For the first time since meeting him in 2014 he was happy. He had to leave to film and I was going to return to my hotel. I kissed him and rubbed his face. When he walked me to my car he hugged me and he left to hustle. Just like he always did. If he was anything he was the definition of hustler. When I came back to Los Angeles in December to speak at CAL State Northridge he tried to make it to my events. But, he was busy filming. The night before while we spent some time together I told him I loved him. I did/do. It wasn't your conventional love. I loved him for all the things that he was; ambitious, incredible, a loving father, his amazing creativity, for his passion (s) and for his determination to hustle hard. More importantly because we had a solid friendship above all. He backed me and I backed him. Our intimacy was a bonus in so many ways. When he finished a product he would send it to me and ask me what I thought. When I would respond I would remind him of how incredible his visions were and how I loved what he was doing for the genre. He would ask me "are you sure you like it?" As if it mattered what I thought. His work spoke for itself. It was bright and beautiful. His calling had always been this and there was so much more that he needed to create, make and bring to life. So, during my grief I listened to our last messages. I heard his last Whatsapp messages. I looked at the snap messages we had sent. My last message to him was Friday May 15th, 2020. Exactly three days after my birthday. Around 8:00pm. Reports say he died around 9:30-10:30pm. I messaged him Saturday morning. When he didn't respond I began to worry. At noon the corridista singer  Abraham Vasquez shared a photo of the van he crashed in. He posted a lovely tribute to my sweet Omar. I lost my shit then. I wanted it to be a lie. Except it wasn't. My sweet Omar whose laughter made the world laugh with him had died. Too soon and too unexpectedly young. Grief has let me have some good days and some bad days. But, mostly it has allowed me to go for the sky when I am told to go for the barely there. Last month on the day he passed away I drove around my little city in the middle of the night surrounded with the mountains I love so much cradling me while the bright stars of the night shined as I drove in a madness of tears. I asked him why he left me. When I wasn't ready for him to leave. I said the things I couldn't say out-loud finally and I cried so hard that I had swollen eyes for two days after. I finally got home and got into my bed sometime in the middle of the early morning. At one point during the stupor of me trying to sleep I felt someone embrace me, caress my shoulder. Maybe it was my mind, maybe it was him. I finally slept and woke up in a state of peace. Days later I would see that I had messages he had sent in one of our usual heated conversations. I can't hear them yet. I don't know when I will be able to. 

I don't know exactly what happens next. Or when we will return to what life in normalcy looks like. I couldn't write for months following the outbreak. It was hard to want to write when the world was suffering. Its my empathetic spirit. My selfless mindset. I suppose that keeps me from moving when I sense the pain and sorrow of the world as we live through this pandemic. In any case I would have one or two good days of solid thoughts and ability to type it down. It never lasted. I have like three or more scripts that I have worked on. None I have gone back to and picked up were I left off. Until just recently when I was able to sit down and write for 8 hours straight and finally felt the desire to produce. To write and write and look at the white of the blank pages inviting and enticing just waiting for the sentences and thoughts to materialize on them. I have so many more things to piece and put together. My grief will pass and I will commemorate and give this insane time justification when it has passed and I can return to being a hustler. Just like my sweet Omar was. He would never forgive me if I stopped. And I would never forgive myself either. With love and gratitude for life and health and internal peace and laughter.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
William Congreve


For the past seven years I have been on this magical and intoxicating ride. When I first began this I was so confused and had no clue how it was going to look or be. It was just this idea, not even a concept, rather, it was just this illusion of what ifs and what nots. But, slowly, it began to form into the vision I had imagined. Perhaps. Here though two published books later, numerous conferences I have shown it, one documentary done and in my second production. I share with you a piece of this world I am in.

It wasn't easy. If people assume it was, if people think it was easy for me, it would be a terrible assumption. One whole year, entirely devoted to reading all and everything I could on this topic. Boxes and cases that still fill one of my storage rooms. Once in a while, I will remember something and go through the boxes, finding the one article or notes I wrote on xyz paper.

Memories of so many times I either successfully completed an interview, or spent hours out in a venue waiting for nothing to come out of it. Times when I was so tired but I never found a way to set up the interview (s) and so I had to go there and see if they would even allow me to get close enough to ask. Times I spent alone. Hours on the road. Running on the adrenaline that pushed me because I knew I was a woman, I was the type of woman who hated to lose.

How many times did I change the questions, how many times did the questions even seem relevant. Each memory sticking into my memory bank. I can tell you about each and every experience. My first time speaking to Javier Rosas. How shitty my spanish was. How I spent a long time on my phone looking up the words in spanish. How one of my best friend was there to see me do this nonsense for the first time. How significant it was for her to be there to see me begin this incredible work. And how much I appreciated the way they all had patience with this crazy Xicana. Who was all over the place.

No, this is by far not easy. It was not easy, but, it was with a lot of sweat, tears and determination that I was able to gather what I wanted to. And more. So much more.

The day I interviewed Jorge Valenzuela, he greeted me with this infectious smile. It touched his eyes. It made me smile. We laughed a lot, we took breaks. It was outside a venue here in Tucson. A cold and chilly night. While he laughed and we talked about so many things. I laughed. We joked. I inhaled his scent when he hugged me goodbye. Every so often he would send me a message asking me how my project was going, say something positive like "Ya vera, que le va a salir bien machin." Or he would simply ask me how I was and how things were going. When he passed away in that terrible car accident. I cried. I closed myself from the world for a couple of days and I thought of my friend Jorge. Who had just collaborated with Kevin Ortiz. And who was such a nice and talented young man. I mourned his passing.

As I was putting together the film, I got to his footage. While adding it I blurrily saw his face and smile while he spoke on this topic. With a heavy heart and tears spilling down my face, I smiled and hoped my friend Jorge was in a better place singing with other great artists.

So, this has been hard.

I suppose draining on the spirit and soul at times. Especially when people attack this cultural production and the performers. This is what angers me the most. To hear the way people make these assumptions or comments about these figures that they more than likely have never spoken to or tried to hear or know about their works. But they just say things matter of fact.

Momma bear Angie.

Have I ever told you about my brothers. La Septima Banda. Brothers. I never had any. Just a sister. A sister, whom in recent years has become my biggest supporter and who I admire for being an incredible woman who has endured cancer and has grown into her role as a grade school teacher. But never had I had a brother. So, now I had all these brothers. Whom I love with all my heart.

The type of friendship that goes beyond. With respect and admiration. I never miss any of their shows. I can't tell you how we became so close and how I loved them it just became. Or how much their support and their opinion matters. I go to them. I ask them to tell me if they find the work I am doing to be productive. Whether they feel I have captured what the message is. Or, if they think it should have more. Less.

Or my Tony. The ex-vocalist of La Septima, who is now creating his own path and way. How many times has this brother of mine picked me up. Told me to get my shit together. Or simply been someone who I can count on. He is one of the most humble and amazing human beings I have ever met in this world. I continue to be in awe of everything he is and everything he will make.

Firmes.

A word simply unknown to me until I began this work. "Siempre firmes." These words fall heavily on my shoulders. They sit there and remind me of these friendships and mutual respect and love I have grown into with these human beings who are not just my academic subjects. To say they are simply that is to discredit the concept of research. To deny the extent this work has done. To diminish the knowledge and the friendships we have formed.

So, maybe you might criticize this work. Maybe you might even hate it. And that's okay. But, if you ever assume or think I have not worked hard to gather this work or you think I have no idea what I am saying or want to convey. I will not accept it.

This work might challenge you. It might make you see the work of these great artists in a different light. Hell, it might even make you like the damn music. And if so. Thank you. The music sounds better with a beer, the music will incite you to dance. It will make you sing along. But above all, it will pull you in and it wont let you go.

“De las aguas calmas me cuide dios, que de las bravas me se cuidar yo solito.”

Following a hiatus of almost a whole year I was finally conferencing throughout various destinations presenting “La Voz del Narco” my baby…my everything. Many of you have no idea how much work it was to get the content for this incredible knowledge. Some people have felt that MY work undermines and negates the culture that is perpetuated in the drug cartel world.  

Después de un descanso de casi un año entero, finalmente empeze a presentar "La Voz del Narco" mi bebé ... mi todo en varias conferencias. Muchos de ustedes no tienen idea de cuánto trabajo fue obtener el contenido de este increíble conocimiento. Algunas personas han sentido que MI trabajo socava y niega la cultura que se perpetúa en el mundo del cartel de drogas.

However, it is with immense pride that I have continued to push the conformity in which society has ostracized the narco protagonist and the narco singer. Throughout the course of this incredible work I have been fortunate enough to hear first-hand experiences through their “OWN” voices.

Sin embargo, es con inmenso orgullo que he seguido impulsando la conformidad con la que la sociedad ha excluido al narco protagonista y al narco cantante. A lo largo de este increíble trabajo he tenido la suerte de escuchar experiencias de primera mano a través de sus "PROPIAS" voces.

Most recently, I had the honor of meeting and interviewing Lenin Ramirez. I had been following his music and his work for a couple of years. It was an impromptu event. As they tend to be in my world.  I was initially only there to show my completed work to another artist. It just so happened that the event had Lenin performing as well.

Recientemente tuve el honor de conocer y entrevistar a Lenin Ramirez. Estuve siguiendo su música y su trabajo durante un par de años. Fue un evento improvisado. Como tienden a ser en mi mundo. Inicialmente solo estaba allí para mostrar mi trabajo completo a otro artista. Dio la casualidad de que el evento tuvo a Lenin presentándose también.

I had no equipment but once he said yes to my interview I had my trusty iPhone and the confidence that for the past four years has guided me through each and every interview I have done.  I did this one differently. I felt confident in the knowledge that I had already, what I wanted to hear was more of his personal thoughts and experiences. What did he think of the world he was in. How did he see his work. Mostly, it was one of very few interviews that I sat thru and wished we had more time and more opportunities to further discuss everything he shared with me in the span of 5 minutes. That and he is quite handsome. 

No tenía equipo, pero una vez que dijo que sí a mi entrevista, tenía mi fiel iPhone y la confianza que durante los últimos cuatro años me ha guiado en todas y cada una de las entrevistas que he hecho. Hice esto de manera diferente. Me sentí segura con el conocimiento que ya tenia, lo que quería escuchar era más de sus pensamientos y experiencias personales. ¿Qué piensa él del mundo en el que se encontraba? ¿Cómo el ve su trabajo? Esta fue una de las pocas entrevistas en las que me senté y deseé tener más tiempo y más oportunidades para seguir discutiendo todo lo que compartió conmigo en el lapso de 5 minutos. Eso y esta bien guapo. 

The thing is my hunger has not been met. I am demanding, thirsty for more.  Lenin’s interview was added instantly before taking my film to the “Gloria Anzaldua El Mundo Zurdo” conference in San Antonio May 16^th-May 19^th.  My conversation with Lenin is not over. He provided another facet to this work. It is not just necessary, but rather it is of the most importance to continue these dialogues. Like my colleague says: “The question remains: is it a crime to sing to the cartel? Is it a crime to interpret narcocorridos (drug ballads)? It could be said that doing so is of bad taste, morally and ethically wrong, risky and somewhat suicidal…but from that to be criminal is quite a stretch.” (Ramirez-Pimienta, 2010, pg. 84)

La cosa es que mi hambre no se ha cumplido. Soy exigente, tengo sed de más. La entrevista de Lenin se agregó instantáneamente antes de llevar mi documental a la conferencia “Gloria Anzaldua El Mundo Zurdo” en San Antonio del 16 al 19 de mayo. Mi conversación con Lenin no ha terminado. Él proporcionó otra faceta para este trabajo. No es solo necesario, sino que es de la mayor importancia continuar estos diálogos. Como dice mi colega“La pregunta permanece: ¿Es un delito cantarle al narco? ¿Es un delito interpretar narcocorridos? Se podría argüir que es de mal gusto, inmoral, poco ético, arriesgado y en algunos casos quizá hasta suicida...pero de eso a ser un delito hay un buen trecho” (Ramirez-Pimienta, 2010, pg. 84).

Yo no me encuentro a mí mismo donde me busco. Me encuentro por sorpresa cuando menos lo espero.~Barón De Montesquieu

During the course of the three years I invested time and energy to learning and hearing corridos I followed a group. I was running around asking for interviews. And for whatever reason never coincided with Fuerza de Tijuana.

Durante el curso de tres años  inverti mi tiempo y energia en aprender y escuchar corridos segui a este grupo. Corriendo a donde quiera tratando de obtener entrevistas por alguna razon nunca pude considir con Fuerza de Tijuana.

Recently graduated with my master's from The University of Arizona, I saw that they would be performing in Tucson. I sent them messages on social media, as these things go I had no responses, until the night before when one of them responded.

Recientement graduada de la Universidad de Arizona con mi maestria, vi que estarian en Tucson. Les mande mensajes en las redes sociales, como suele ser no tenia contestacion de ellos, pero el dia antes recibi un mensaje de uno de ellos.

It felt like the beginning of my research, or maybe I was nostalgic.............

Sentia como si fuera el principio de mis estudios, o quisa estaba nostalgica..............

With the uncertainty of having an opportunity to meet and talk to them, I didn't come with camera equipment, instead I decided I wanted to go hear them and enjoy their music. Of course, like any researcher and used to sitting and having a dialogue with the groups/performers I really hoped to hear their thoughts and gather a bit more.

Con la incertindumbre de no saber si tendria una oportunidad de verlos y platicar, decidi no llegar con equipo de camara, mejor decidi que queria escuchar y disfrutar su presentacion. Por supuesto como cualquier investigador y acostumbrada a sentarme y tener dialogo con los grupos/interpretes realmente esperaba ansiosamente escuchar sus ideas y pensamientos, reunir un poco mas de informacion.

Never catching a break, mind you I was out of commission (ha!) I arrived at the venue, I admit I got pretty for the night. Which really was nice, I was usually rushing like a maniac trying to confirm and make sure I got to the group(s) before they got busy with the presentations. But this time I took time for me. I even did glitter eyeliner (things were this serious).

Nunca teniendo una quebrada, ten encuenta que estaba fuera de servicio (ha!) llegue al evento, admito que me puse bonita para la noche. Que fue agradable, normalmente andaba corriendo como loca tratando de confirmar y asegurarme que tuviera tiempo con los entegrantes antes de que ellos se ocuparan en su evento Pero esta vez me tome tiempo en mi, hasta me puse delineador de ojos con brillos. (las cosas eran serias).

Upon their arrival I went to the van and saw the guys. I introduced myself and asked for the band member who I had been in contact with. The guy I was talking to said they didn't have anyone by that name. I was so disappointed. I immediately assumed that I had mistakenly sent messages to someone who was pulling my leg.

Al llegar me acerque a la van y vi a unos muchachos. Me introduci y les pregunte si estaba alli el muchacho que me contesto. El muchacho con el que hablaba me dijo que no tenian a nadien en el grupo con el nombre de instagram que yo mencionaba. Estaba tan decepcionada. Immediatamente imagine que me equivoque y habia mandado mensajes a una persona que nomas me contesto y estaba jugando conmigo.

Luckily I saw this person behind the guy I was talking to, and I was like "Hey!" did I speak to you via instagram and it was HIM!!

Afortunadamente vi a una persona atras del muchacho con el que estaba hablando, yo le dije "hey! eres tu el muchacho con el que estaba hablando en instragram y si era EL!!"

I completely bypassed the guy I was talking to (sorry Hector) and introduced myself to Jesse.

Yo deje de hablar con el muchacho (disculpa Hector) y camine hacia el otro y me intreduci a Jesse.

I honestly had never felt so comfortable talking to someone in that environment. Jesse had such a great welcoming personality. I talked about my research, asked him a few questions, laughed a lot. (friends, he has a cute smile and shiny eyes). 

Honestamente nunca habia estado tan comfortable hablando con alguien en ese ambiente. Jesse tenia una personalidad acogedora. Hable con el sobre mi estudio, le pregunte varias preguntas, nos reimos mucho. (Amigos, tiene una sonrisa curiosa y ojos brillantes). 

I was able to watch the entirety of their performance, and I loved every second of it. They are talented, and you can see they absolutely have a calling for the music and the singing. 

Fui capaz de ver la totalidad de su actuacion, me encanto cada segundo de la presentacion. Son talentonsos. Se nota y ve que tienen el llamado para la musica y el canto. 

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to interview them, or ask them the questions I usually do. 

Desafortunadament no tuve la oportunidad de entrevistarlos, o preguntarles las preguntas que suelo hacer. 

We have a pending date friends! 

Tenemos una fecha pendiente amigos! 

Although I can't promise you'll truly feel their presence on stage via this video; I hope you enjoy it. Go see them, you will leave satisfied and appreciative of their music. 

Aunque no puedo prometer que realmente sentiran la presensia que tienen en el escenario atraves de este video espero que lo disfruten. Les aconsejo que vayan a verlos en una presentacion. Les prometo que estaran muy complacidos. 

Thanks guys! 

Gracias muchachos!

If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything ~Malcolm X

Throughout this magical experience I embarked on I seldom speak of the people behind the scenes. Sure, I give you my take on the musicians. I expand on the interactions, my observations, the environment and much more. 

I have never talked about those people who are the driving force, the support, and the ones who make these musicians. 

Today I will do both. I will take you on my private moments with special people who I met through this research, who I consider friends and who I respect and care for. 

Last year I was done filming but decided to do one more interview, if you ask any researcher they will tell you that the hardest part is stopping. Sometimes you want to do more, go for more, but eventually you have to remind yourself that the project/study/research is not long term. 

I would be lying if I told you that I didn't hound down the record company. I called, texted, called, texted daily until I had a conversation with Tony. I am so glad he didn't hang up on me. Truthfully, I didn't need the interview but I am so very glad I did get it. 

I knew of the group I was going to interview, they were hitting on the radio stations and they had a good sound and their corridos were on point. 

So, Tony told me I could have the interview and that his partner Brian would help me with the interview. I directed Tony to my blog, and told him he could ask me all the questions he would want before the interview. 

I had no idea who Tony or Brian were. I just went with it. So, Brian was ever so helpful I drove to their hotel and had Brian come down to my car. I wanted to go over the questions and make sure he understood my purpose. 

Both Tony and Brian are what I consider Xicanos. So it was easy to have a conversation with Brian. We left no topic untouched. I loved how interactive Brian was and I must confess I connected easily with him because we were able to have deep conversations and it felt like I was talking to an old friend. 

I interviewed Grupo H100 and had some nice jokes with the guys. I was at an awkward spot back stage, so I barely saw the performance. I did though see how much the audience and the ladies loved them. 

After the concert I bid them farewell. Several weeks later I began conversations about the corrido contest the University of Arizona puts on yearly and a potential sponsorship from Alianza. 

This is when I began to have more conversation and interaction with Brian and Tony. It wasn't until January of 2017 that we were able to sit down and formally discuss this collaboration between the UA and Alianza Records. (http://alianzarecords.bigcartel.com/) 

Our talks continue, but the friendships I formed with these two men have grown. I have had their support, their consejos, sometimes their scolding....but overall I have seen their love and passion as owners, and employers of not just their musicians but their staff as well. They have a distinct manner in which they have decided to run their empire and it fits. In this genre, and in the followers they have and keep adding to.  

I just recently saw Grupo H100 in Phoenix, and was able to observe, enjoy and see the group out on stage. I realized that they have a very unique position. They are bringing a "gordito sexy" trend. The audience which was the most diverse I had seen in the past four years consisted of couples, women from 21 and up, but a lot of Xicanos who didn't necessarily fit that typical attendee stereotype. The girls love the group and the appeal is definitely strong. I can honestly tell you that they are all teddy bears. Huggable, approachable and talented. In a genre that has many musicians, and some artists that don't necessarily sing, Jasiel has a wonderful voice and sings wonderfully. (https://www.instagram.com/jasielfelixh100/?hl=en)

I can only wish for the best for both Grupo H100 and my friends Tony and Brian. 

Love Me or Hate Me Me Vale Madre

Even when I had secured my interviews I still panicked. It was never easy, there was always something that would come up or randomness that would make me worry about whether or not I would still be getting my interview. 

Incluso cuando había conseguido mis entrevistas, todavia tenia pánico. Nunca fue fácil, siempre había algo que surgiría o que me haría preocupar si todavía estaría recibiendo mi entrevista.

Such is the case for the night I interviewed Grupo Maximo Grado. 

Tal es el caso de la noche en que entrevisté al Grupo Maximo Grado.

Arriving at the venue, I was on my fifth call with their management. The group had arrived hours ahead, but the man of the hour, and the one I wanted to sit and talk to had not. The singer of the group; Cristian Felix had gotten delayed in Mexico and was arriving at the airport before they hit the stage. 

Llegando al salon de evento estaba en mi quinta llamada con la gerencia del grupo. El grupo habia llegado horas antes, pero el hombre de la hora, y al que yo esperaba ansiosamente para entrevistar se habia demorado en Mexico. El Cantante del grupo; Cristian Felix llegaria de un vuelo y llegaria a subir el escenario. 

No me importo, lo esperaria para siempre, Y lo hice. Yo caminaba para arriva y para abajo. Yo les tiraba ojos a los de seguridad y ellos a mi. Yo era una mujer con una mision. 

I was approached by one of the management people and we had a wonderful conversation, he was understanding and said the interview would get done after the concert if Cristian ran too late before hitting the stage.

Por fin una persona de el equipo me encontro, y tuvimos una conversasion muy buena. El entendia y me aseguro que la entrevista se haria despues del concierto si Cristian se demoraba y subia al escenario antes de hacer mi entrevista. 

The interview was one of my most favorites, Cristian was so straightforward and so true I wanted to have hours with him to talk about more things. I liked how he was like I don't give a fuck. He didn't cater to anyone and just was his own person. He wasn't a jerk, he was just true. Funny, and charismatic. 

La entrevista ha sido una de mis favoritas, Cristian fue honesto y tan real . Queria a ver tenido mas horas para poder convivir y platicar con el. De todos los temas queria hablarle. Me encanto como su persona es, el no era rudo pero tenia una actitud de esas que el hacia lo que le daba su gana sin preguntas. Era chistoso y carismatico. 

The interview was cut short and they hit the stage. What a most impressive show they put on, HE put on. It was by far one of the most interactive I have seen. He even left the stage without his shirt or jacket on. Very impressive.

La entrevista se quedo a medias, ya que tenian que subir al escenario. Que show tan impresionante pusieron. EL puso un show impresionante. Fue uno de los mas interactivos que eh visto. Incluso hasta bajo del escenario sin camisa o chaqueta. 

When we got into their van we resumed the interview, and had conversations about not just the topic of my research, but of realities in Mexico, and the disrespect that Donald Trump had done to our people both in the U.S. and in Mexico. He had some choice words for Trump, words that I agreed with wholeheartedly. 

Cuando subimos la camioneta resumimos la entrevista, conversamos no solo sobre el tema de mi investigacion, sino sobre las realidades en Mexico,  y sobre la falta de respeto que Donald Trump había hecho a nuestra gente tanto en los Estados Unidos como en México. Tenía algunas palabras de elección para Trump, palabras con las que acepté de todo corazón.

In our goodbye we exchanged numbers. A few days later Cristian sent me a message in which he was thanking me for giving him and his colleagues a platform. I responded that he had nothing to thank me for, in fact it was me who was thanking him for letting me interview him. I wished him success and good health and said I would see him at his next concert in town.

En nuestro adiós intercambiamos números. Unos días despues Cristian me envió un mensaje en el que me estaba agradeciendo por darle a él y a sus colegas una plataforma. Le respondí que no tenía porque, de hecho fui yo quien le agradeció por permitirme entrevistarlo. Le deseé éxito y buena salud y le dije que lo vería en su próximo concierto en mi ciudad.

It's the game of life. Do I win or do I lose? One day they're gonna shut the game down. I gotta have as much fun and go around the board as many times as I can before it's my turn to leave. Tupac Shakur

You might wonder what I thought of, wondered, imagined during the times I went off to conduct my interviews......sometimes I thought of how I should pose my questions, or how the person or people would be.....and the majority of the time I tried on a million outfits....I am still a mujer. Though silly.....my all black wardrobe and choice had to be practical. I had to carry the camera, my notebook, and a water. I don't know why I would bother playing dress up. My staple shoe choice was combat boots, leggings, and a black shirt. Seldom, I dressed up.

I wore jewelry during the interview, and once I followed them into the venue I had nothing but the camera and my camera bag. I kinda wished now I would have changed from the boots to some sneakers and been more casual. 

One of the few times I dressed up I was interviewing Los Nuevos Rebeldes. I wore a little black dress and heels. It was a nice hot day, and they arrived early. Their management (this is right before DEL Records acquired them) told me to go get them. Off I drove to their hotel. The poor dudes were barely getting off their van when I pulled up and said...."let's go!" Perhaps because I kidnapped them and forced them into my running vehicle they had no choice but to let this crazy mujer take them, although to be fair it took a lot of me insisting and shoving to get them in the car. 

We were only 5 minutes away from the restaurant that I conducted almost all my interviews at, and arrived quickly to get them dinner and do my interview. 

I had the two singers with me and one of their staff people. The guys reluctantly ordered and we began to have the usual conversation that resemble awkward blind dates. A lot of so how long have you been doing this? Where are you from? What's your favorite color? Just kidding on the last one, but pretty much breaking the ice types of scenarios.

I was sitting next to Isaac, and at the head of the table was Jesus Manuel. My friend was joining me for this interview Ms. Alyssa. Their staff Enrique sat across from us. 

I spent a long time with them for the interview, they invited us to their practice/sound check and we parted ways so that they could go get ready. Just listening to them was amazing. You could tell that this group had presence and music came easily to each and everyone of them. 

We came back and sat with them in their van while we waited for them to get on the stage in a small venue in South Tucson. 

The place was packed for Los Rebeldes, the music filled the room and the concert was on! I zig zagged my way through the whole venue, keeping myself and my camera out of the way of fans/spectators. I loved the shiny outfits they had on. The outfits are one of these e things I photograph a lot during my interviews. I find them very homoerotic. Very Liberace. 

I lose track of time when I'm filming, the minutes pass and the hours tick on. I am utterly shocked when the singer/group finishes their set and they come off stage. 

I have the fondest memories of interviewing and filming Los Nuevos Rebeldes. The full afternoon they gave me was very much appreciated. They could have easily had their meal, gave me short answers and asked to be dropped off at the hotel. Instead we spent hours chatting and having long wonderful dialogues. 

However,  the  interview is significant because at one point in the night while I was filming them closeup a fan/viewer grabbed my camera, and at the same time grabbed me. I looked straight at Isaac's eyes....while  this male had my breasts in his hands. I stopped filming, and walked to Alyssa. I remember staring at her too. I

After the incident I left outside and put my equipment away. Los Rebeldes got off stage. They met me outside. I thanked them whole heartedly and Isaac pulled me into a tight hug. I remember how comforting that felt. I feel he knew I had fear in my eyes when the previous episode occurred. 

What goes though my head you might wonder, well many things do. You might call me silly, but I hope and pray shots don't go off while I'm there. Or that I won't drop the equipment, I hope I won't be touched again.....and mostly I think of my safety. 

At the the end of the night I just want to get home to the most important, amazing, precious possession I have in my life.